I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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