Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize