Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
