I look better un-naked...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
