Barsexuality is the new black.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
