We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
