But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
BRING THE BAGELS
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
