i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
