I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
