Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
