If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
