I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
