In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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