You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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