Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize