At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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