She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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