There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
