dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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