My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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