well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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