We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
