I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
