dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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