I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize