Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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