just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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