at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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