Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
