I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
