i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize