my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
