All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
