singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
