How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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