Plan B is the new Plan A
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
