So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
