Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
