I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
