haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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