I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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