i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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