why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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