i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
