He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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