i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
