okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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