The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
two words...techno handjob
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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