If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
