Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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