ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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