3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
