He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
