dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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