I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
