somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
