You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
