Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize