I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
