his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
