You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
