My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
