If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
