After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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