what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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