we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
