Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
