Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
