I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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